REVIEW || ‘The Push’ by Ashley Audrain

“A mother’s heart breaks a million ways in her lifetime.”

—Ashley Audrain

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★★★★★

5/5 Stars

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This may be one of the most difficult books I've ever read. I knew going in that I was either going to overwhelmingly love it or hate it/struggle finishing it. And admittedly I wasn't sure which way I was swaying as I devoured it. Now that I've finished, I can't get it out of my brain...and that's how I know it's one of my favorite books of 2021.

PLOT SPOT

Blythe Connor is determined that she will be the warm, comforting mother to her new baby Violet that she herself never had.
But in the thick of motherhood’s exhausting early days, Blythe becomes convinced that something is wrong with her daughter–she doesn’t behave like most children do.
Or is it all in Blythe’s head? Her husband, Fox, says she’s imagining things. The more Fox dismisses her fears, the more Blythe begins to question her own sanity, and the more we begin to question what Blythe is telling us about her life as well.
Then their son Sam is born–and with him, Blythe has the blissful connection she’d always imagined with her child. Even Violet seems to love her little brother. But when life as they know it is changed in an instant, the devastating fall-out forces Blythe to face the truth.
The Push is a tour de force you will read in a sitting, an utterly immersive novel that will challenge everything you think you know about motherhood, about what we owe our children, and what it feels like when women are not believed.

WINS

1. Different POV style. It's meant to be read like one long letter from the protagonist to her ex-husband. A memoir, of sorts. It gives a very different perspective than a typical complex thriller [which BTW I wouldn't necessarily consider this a thriller - more suspenseful/dark/complex/psychological]. It also provides the perfect backdrop for you as the reader to question each and every thing you read. You're basically told from the get-go that this is just one side of the following story. Which perfectly segues into point 2...

2. Unreliable narrator. I understand why so many people dislike unreliable narrators, but I personally LOVE stories with a questionable protagonist. To me, it feels like a gift from the author. A sense of blind trust given to you by the architect of the story. In this case, Ashley Audrain gave us a beautifully woven tapestry with pieces of fact and fiction, truth and doubt seamlessly intersecting and blending throughout. But she trusted us as the readers to sift through the information and formulate our own opinion of what really happened. What's fact and what's fiction? What's real and what's imagined

3. Short, easy-to-read chapters. Because of the psychological nature of this book, I really enjoyed the creative touch Audrain used with chapter structure. Each subsequent installment felt like a memory or a fleeting thought of a desperate, heartbroken, lost, sad woman/mother/wife/daughter. Crazed to find the truth. Or to at least make her story heard and seen. I almost imagined myself as Blythe, writing my memoir spanning the events over the past 20+ years of my life. Reliving the heart break, the pain, the joy [which had to be equally as painful]. I can imagine I'd be frantic. Short. Clipped. Quickly flying from thought to thought in a desperate attempt to recount absolutely everything. Everything that might have contributed to the here and now. It was an absolutely brilliant tactic not lost on me.

LOSSES

1. Connection between final chapter and epilogue. We’re left with a year and a half in between the final chapter and the epilogue. I understand how all the characters reached that point and I have my opinions on why the main character switched her stance on going to therapy, but I wish a little more had been added to explain the work done mentally/emotionally to get to that place.

2. The very quick, slight mention of Blythe’s mother and what became of her. For someone who was so instrumental in forging the psyche of our protagonist, I felt the story just glossed over her fate like an afterthought.

3. Fox’s mother. I can’t get over her character because I’m so torn between wanting to love her and give her the benefit of the doubt, but also hating her and wanting to scream at her to be better. To not dig her head in the sand and say something when she noticed it. To recognize pain and suffering and in Blythe’s time of need, to be more maternal and loving than she was.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Anyone who enjoys dark psychological suspense that makes you think and leaves you feeling haunted long afterwards NEEDS to read this book. Now. But beware of the following triggers [because Audrain did such a phenomenal job writing & they are extremely hard to experience]: child loss, psychosis, gaslighting, psychological/emotional/verbal/mental/physical abuse, neglect, self-harm, depression, violence, sociopathy, adultery.

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FOR FANS OF

REVIEW || ‘Darling Rose Gold’ by Stephanie Wrobel

“That’s what separates the sane from the not: knowing madness is an option but declining to choose it.”

—Stephanie Wrobel

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★★★.5

3.5/5 Stars

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Holy dysfunctional and damaged and broken and conniving and twisted, Batman. I'm so torn on how I feel about this book right now. Did parts of it make me want to sink down in my shirt, hide away in cringeworthy horror and shower after I finished it? Yes, yes they did. But did I also obsess over it every second until I finished? 1000x yes.

It's one of those reads where you almost feel guilty for loving it and enjoying it so much because the subject matter is dark, every character is super flawed and hard to root for, and it highlights retribution and revenge for a cathartic cleanse. But that being said, I did love it. I loved the writing. I loved the imagery. I loved the insight into the psychological breakdown of both minds. You're not just seeing the story from one side or another - you're given a front-row seat into the minds of both the abuser and the victim, and the character representing each of those tropes shifts throughout the book. You don't know who to root for, and once it's over, you'll have trouble figuring out which way is 'up.'

PLOT SPOT

For the first eighteen years of her life, Rose Gold Watts believed she was seriously ill. She was allergic to everything, used a wheelchair and practically lived at the hospital. Neighbors did all they could, holding fundraisers but no matter how many doctors, tests, or surgeries, no one could figure out what was wrong with Rose Gold.
Turns out her mom, Patty Watts, was just a really good liar.
After serving five years in prison, Patty begs her daughter to take her in. The entire community is shocked when Rose Gold says yes. And Rose Gold is no longer her weak little darling...
And she's waited such a long time for her mother to come home.

WINS
-alternating viewpoints between mother/daughter; great insight into both sides and phenomenal job at crafting the language for each character [inner dialogue was completely different for mother/daughter in terms of vocabulary, sentence structure, confidence, optimism/pessimism, etc.]
-it makes you think about how you'd react in this situation; I questioned so many things I thought I knew about myself and my personality. I honestly don't know what I would've done in Rose Gold's shoes.
-Rose Gold [finding inner confidence in her appearance and wearing/carrying her scars proudly (hide spoiler)]
-hella beautiful cover; might be my favorite on my bookshelf

LOSSES
-lots of heavy, heavy content [[abuse, trauma, poisoning, unhealthy family dynamics, suicide] (hide spoiler)]; key to the story, but the reader never gets a break from it
-a few details left unexplained [[eyes in the window specifically] (hide spoiler)]
-ending felt super rushed where other chapters provided extensive detail

FINAL THOUGHTS
Overall, I loved it. I'm telling my sisters about it and passing it on to them. If you can get past the triggering aspects of the book, it's a very enjoyable read that'll leave you thinking for days to come.

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FOR FANS OF

REVIEW || ‘Mexican Gothic’ by Sylvia Moreno-Garcia

“She was the snake biting its tail. She was a dreamer, eternally bound to a nightmare, eyes closed even when her eyes had turned to dust.”

-Sylvia Moreno-Garcia

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★★★★★

5/5 Stars

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I’m not sure if I’m still in shock and awe at its majesty or if I’m completely horrified - and that’s how I know Mexican Gothic was an absolutely perfect read. This book gave me serious du Maurier vibes, so picture a very similar atmospheric, gothic novel with the classic tropes of Rebecca but with a splash of eugenics, psychedelic mushrooms and dark alchemy. Sounds dark and twisted and creepy, doesn’t it? Hint: it SO is. But it’s also much, much more.

Plot spot:

Noemi Taboada is a wealthy socialite from Mexico City, and the story starts with her father sending her on a rescue mission of sorts. Noemi’s cousin, Catalina, has written a rather crazed letter that seems like the rantings of a mentally ill individual. She mentions the house has ahold of her - she talks of hauntings, poisonings, rot and decay, etc. So naturally, Noemi’s father sends her to investigate, assess the situation and to bring Catalina home to receive psychiatric treatment. What Noemi finds at High Place, the home Catalina, her husband Virgil and his dark&twisted family share, is so far beyond anything she could have ever imagined. And the longer she stays, the more she realizes Catalina really isn’t crazy after all.

Top 3 Reasons I Loved It:

1. Supernatural elements fit together perfectly and were horrifically believable.

Normally I don’t gravitate towards anything with supernatural or other world-ly vibes, but this book may have changed my ways. While it was still a complete mind-blow, the intricacy and details with which Moreno-Garcia developed the supernatural elements played out beautifully and made complete sense [which added even more to the horror].  

2. The haunting descriptions are an assault on the senses [smell, sight, taste, touch] in ALL the right ways. You can smell the room with Noemi, picture it, taste it and even imagine how things felt in her hands. I can't. It's so, so beautiful.

Colorful descriptions and haunting metaphors really set the scene and create the aura of darkness infused in High Place. There were pages I re-read by choice just to ensure I was painting the proper picture of the beautifully rotten and decaying world in my mind. The author’s use of color as a tool really allows readers to paint the scene alongside her. And not just with piece-parts, but with vivid clarity and understanding of the scene around them. I almost felt like I was reading a movie, if that makes sense…? [probably not, but go with it]

3. Hella-great character development at an appropriate and sensical pace.

Don’t you hate when authors try to throw character development in at the end? We’ve all seen it…feels like an afterthought and leaves you feeling angry that they even bothered. Well that’s so far from the case in this one. At first, Noemi appeared to be a spoiled, naive heroine who thought of few others but herself. But my opinion of her changed at a very appropriate and enjoyable pace throughout the book. By the end, it’s hard not to openly cheer for her and applaud her bravery and bad-a**ery and overall girl boss status. 

Final Thoughts

I’m sure you’ve all seen that Mexican Gothic was a Goodreads Reader’s Choice Winner in 2020. And I’m sure you’ve heard about it, read a lot of reviews or seen the beautiful cover on 1000+ #bookstagram posts. I realize I’m not the end all be all here, but don’t pick up another book from your TBR shelf until you devour this one. Things that go ‘bump’ in the night will suddenly take on a whole new meaning, and I promise this is one story that will leave you haunted, yet desperately wanting more. 

REVIEW || 'Dark Places' by Gillian Flynn

“The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it.”

— Gillian Flynn

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★★★★★

5/5 Stars

One of my favorite books I've ever read...

Gillian Flynn is an artist unlike any other. I can not put her books down. I decided to read her novels in order, beginning with Sharp Objects. Once I started that novel, I knew I was hooked.

Dark Places was a beautiful second piece of work for this author. Many writers find it difficult to overcome the success of their first award-winning novel. Flynn, however, does not disappoint.

Flynn's way of drawing the reader in to her dark, twisted world is just incredible. Her use of flashback in alternating chapters keeps the reader on his/her toes throughout the entire novel. This book offers insight in to each of the main characters. You are able to see the thoughts/processes from the eyes of different characters.

Libby Day is a tragic, relatable heroine. Her growth and progression through the novel really captivated me. Her actions throughout the book are believable - nothing too dramatic, and nothing too ordinary. How Gillian Flynn can write these novels without actually experiencing the tragedy within them is beyond me.

She is a remarkable author. I would recommend this book to anyone who appreciates true literary brilliance.

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